Fifty Shades Lost
by CoCoKins
Summary: I know this has been done already, but I wanted to give it a try. This is a 'What If' about Christian losing his memory, but instead of only not remembering Ana, by popular demand, he will lose his memory completely. I hope you like it. This is only my second fanfic.
1. Chapter 1: The Car Wreck

**A/N: Alright before things really get underway with this story there have been some negative comments about not continuing it because it has been done so many times before. I just wanted to try and give it a chance, but if after a few chapters people still don't like it I will delete it. If you do not like it then it is alright to say so, but please do not be rude about it. That's all I ask. Happy reading! :)**

* * *

I caress my wife's pregnant belly and smile down at her. She is the most beautiful woman on the face of this earth and I thank God every day for the family that he has blessed me with.

"Daddy up!" I look down at my son, Teddy. He just turned two a few weeks ago and he is so smart. He uses his big blue puppy dog eyes on me and I laugh and swing him up into my arms. He giggles and it sounds so much like his mother's. When they giggle together it sounds like angels are singing for me.

"Will you be home in time for dinner?" Ana is looking at me with hope in her eyes. I didn't get to make dinner last night because one of my teleconferences ran a bit long so they came to the office and surprised me with lunch.

"I promise you that I will be home for dinner baby. What are we having?"

"Baked salmon, roasted potatoes, green beans, and mac and cheese. I had her make that as an extra incentive for you to hurry home to us." She smiles a wide grin up at me and I laugh. My angel knows me so well.

"Well in that case I will be home early. Now go home and rest. You look tired." I kiss her forehead and I walk them to the revolving doors.

"Come on Teddy, daddy has to go back to work now."

"But mama I wanna stay with daddy," he whines to Ana.

"You can't. Daddy is busy right now." Our son begins to sniffle and tear up and I can see that Ana is about to offer him some kind of sweet to get him to go with her.

"Listen buddy. If you go home with mama right now I'll take you for a ride in Charlie Tango this weekend. How does that sound?"

"Can mama come too?" I laugh. He is just like me. He is always concerned about his mother.

"Of course she can."

He thinks for a moment and then he wiggles out of my arms and jumps into Ana's. She stumbles back with the extra weight in her arms and she smiles and shakes her head at me. She covers his ears and whispers, "You do know that I can't fly right?"

"Well he doesn't have to know that right now."

She shakes her head once more and then kisses me and says, "We'll see you at home. Enjoy the rest of your day baby. I love you."

"I love you too daddy!"

"And I love you two as well. I'll see you later."

I watch as Sawyer helps them into the car and wave as they slowly drive away, probably at Teddy's request. I catch movement to my left and I look across the street. Elena is standing outside of her white Mercedes and she is glaring daggers at my wife's car. I don't think she even sees me. What the hell is she doing here? She takes a long drink from a bottle of liquor and she gets in the car. I call Taylor. "Yes Mr. Grey?"

"Where are you?"

"I am coming back from lunch. I'm driving down the street. I see you standing outside. Is something wrong sir?"

Before I can answer Elena screeches down the street in the opposite direction as Ana and Teddy. I am about to relax, but she turns the corner. Taylor stops in front of me. "Get out of the car."

"Yes sir." He gets out and gets in the passenger side. I want to tell him to go in the building, but I don't have time to argue with him so I just roll my eyes as I get in the driver's seat. I catch up to Ana and Teddy and we follow closely behind them. We drive for a moment before we come up on a four way intersection. That's when I see her. She is waiting for them to pull out. Sawyer drives forward oblivious to the danger that is to the left of the car.

"Please don't do this Elena," I murmur. I hear her tires screech and she speeds forward. I drive forward and hit the bumper of my wife's car and send them lurching up the street just in time for Elena's car to slam into the side of mine. There is a deafening roar in my ears as the car spins out of control. I cannot move. I wish Taylor had not gotten in with me. He would be safe back at the office. I need to know if my wife and son are alright, but there is splitting pain down the left side of my body from my head to my toes. I am losing consciousness. All I can see in my mind is Ana's face and then I see nothing at all.


	2. Chapter 2: Forgotten

"Slow! I wanna wave to daddy!" Teddy yells at Sawyer who laughs and indulges my son's request. I turn to wave also and then I urge Teddy to sit down in his booster seat so that I can strap him in. We chatter happily in the backseat and I tickle him and he squeals with joy. I love my little man. He looks so much like his father. He has my eyes, but that is as far as the resemblance between the two of us goes. He tells me how he and Gail found a turtle in the backyard and he wants to keep it.

"Well we'll talk to daddy about that." I laugh and a second later the breath is knocked out of me when something hits the back of the car and jerks us forward. Teddy screams and I look over at him and run my hand through his hair. "It's alright. Mommy's here. Hush baby boy. Everything is going to be ok." I look at Sawyer in question. He has stopped the car and is looking in horror out the back window for a long moment before he springs into action. I turn slowly, dreading what I will see behind me. I look out the back windshield and take in the horrifying scene behind me. When I register what I see I let out a scream. Christian's SUV has been hit on the driver's side. Sawyer is helping a dazed Taylor out of the passenger side so that can only mean that Christian was driving. _Oh God please let him be alright. Please let him be alive. Please don't take him away from us._ I pray silently as I open my door and call for Sawyer so that he can bring Taylor over to sit down and so that he can calm Teddy while I go check on my husband.

We settle Taylor in the car and then I turn back to the wrecked SUV and Mercedes that has my husband trapped. "Mrs. Grey maybe you should go get back in the car." Sawyer gently takes my arm and I yank away from him. I slowly walk to the car and climb through the passenger door. When I see him I immediately begin to cry. The white car has caused the door to bend inward and it is crushing the left side of his body. His head is on the steering wheel and I don't know how bad the wound is, but all I can focus on is the blood that is steadily dripping from it in a thin stream. I feel a presence behind me.

"Did you call for help?"

"Yes ma'am. The paramedics are on their way. Mrs. Grey please, let me in so I can see what I can do to help. Your son is crying. He needs you. Go to him and let me help Mr. Grey."

I want to protest, but there is nothing I can or know how to do. The best thing I can do for my husband right now is get out of the way and go and care for our son. Teddy. My baby needs me. I slowly slip from the car and I begin to walk back to my own when I hear a soft, "Christian?" I look over and I see that bitch troll of a woman Elena. She looks at me with glazed over eyes, but I don't think she really sees me. "I didn't mean to hit him. I was after you and that bastard son of yours. I never understood how he could take care of a son that probably isn't even his or how he could forsake me for you. I wanted you to pay for what you took from me, but Christian has always acted so foolishly when it came to you." She is crying now as she gazes back at the car. I am seething with hurt and rage. The bitch did this on purpose! She was trying to kill me and ended up hurting Christian instead. She was trying to hurt Teddy. I don't remember when I moved or how I got in front of her, but suddenly I was there and before I could stop myself, my hand curled into a fist and I punched her so hard I felt her teeth loosen under my hand. When she fell to the ground I began to kick her in the side and in the face. How the hell could she do this? How could one person be so evil?! He didn't deserve this!

"MRS. GREY! Ana stop! If you don't stop now you'll kill her and you will serve no one any purpose in jail. Think of Teddy. Think of Phoebe." I clutch my stomach and back away. I am in Taylor's arms and he is carrying me back to my car. I climb in the backseat and Teddy launches himself onto my lap. I sit there and hold him and cry. I can't tell him that everything will be alright because I would lie to him. I don't have the heart to tell him that his daddy is lying in a car injured badly so I say nothing. We sit there for what seems like ages before the paramedics finally arrive.

"Taylor you should go get checked out."

"I'm fine Ana. I just have a bruise on the head. I'll be alright. I just pray now for Mr. Grey." There is fear in his voice. I can't look back, but I can hear everything they are doing. They are using the Jaws of Life to get him out of the car. Sawyer is instructing the police that the woman lying on the ground intentionally caused this wreck, but she hit the wrong car. After listening for a few minutes more I learn that Elena was intoxicated well beyond the legal level. A knock on the window makes me jump and Sawyer opens the door.

"They got him out Ana and he's still alive." I sigh in relief at that. He may be hurt, but at least he is still with us. The pain can be fixed. He will live. "He has a broken leg, a broken shoulder and there has been some damage done to his skull. They will do a full scale check of the injuries, internal and external, once we get to the hospital. You ok?" He looks over at Taylor and asks.

"I'm fine. Let's go," and we drive away staying close to the ambulance. Staying close to my reason for living.

I am sitting in the cozy waiting room where I have been sitting for the last three hours holding my son and rubbing my stomach. I have been joined by Grace, Carrick, Mia, Ethan, Elliot, Kate, and Ray. I have been on and off the phone with my mother keeping her updated on everything that is happening. Grace has gone back several times, but each time they were still working on Christian so we all just gave up and decided to wait. The waiting is killing me. I am sitting nursing a cold cup of tea that has been in my hand for God only knows how long. Someone takes it out of my hand and replaces the cup with their hand. I am not sure who it is. I am staring at the wall mindlessly. I can't speak. I can't eat. I am scared out of my mind. The only thing that anchors me is my son who has fallen asleep on my lap. I am about to give up all hope when a deep voice says, "Christian Grey." Everyone stands together except me. I motion for Grace to take Teddy and I walk over to the doctor. "Mrs. Grey?"

"Yes. How is my husband? Is he alright?"

"He's going to be fine. We put everything back together. His shoulder, his leg and his knee were all broken on the left side. Whoever hit him must have been going pretty damn fast. He has a crack in his skull from where I assume his head must have hit the steering wheel. It caused some swelling to his brain, but don't worry. We have been monitoring if for the past three hours and the swelling has gone down and continues to decrease and retreat back to normal every hour. We're going to move him to a private suite and then you'll all be able to see him. We're just going to have to let time do its job and let him wake up when he's ready. I'll be back out in a few minutes to let you know where we move him to."

I cry silently through the entire speech. "Thank you. Thank you so much for saving him." At this point I am not sure who I'm thanking more, the doctor or God himself. I assume the credit goes to both. The doctor nods and walks back through the double doors. I crumple to the floor and sob.

"Ana! Ana what did he say?" I look up to see everyone surrounding me.

"He's alright. He's alive and they've taken care of him. He's going to live." Mia and Kate sink to the floor and embrace me as they too cry along with me. I look up and realize that everyone is in tears, including Taylor and Sawyer. "Sawyer, please call Ryan and ask him to come and pick up Teddy and take him to Mrs. Taylor. He's tired and when he wakes up he may be hungry."

"Yes ma'am right way."

By the time Teddy is taken care of, the doctor has come back out to let us know where Christian is and we all head that way. He has been placed in a spacious room that looks more like a hotel room. It has cabinets everywhere, a bathroom, a closet, a sink by the door, a large flat screen T.V. on the wall, and a huge window with a beautiful view of Seattle. His bed is not even a standard hospital bed, but a queen sized bed with a plush mattress, fluffy pillows, and an over-stuffed comforter. It looks heavenly and I bet it feels even better because it's freezing in here. I go over to his bedside and I take his right hand and sink down in the fluffy chair next to his bed. I feel much more peaceful now that I am by his side. The hours drag on and we all sit in silence and watch television until about one in the morning.

"I think we had better go." Carrick announces as he stands and holds Grace's hand. "Everyone looks pretty tired and it won't be safe for any of us to drive after a while."

"Then I guess I'll see you all tomorrow. Please bring Teddy when you come back. He'll be missing us. Is it alright if he sleeps with you and Gail?" I turn and ask Taylor.

"He'll be with Gail. I'm not leaving."

"Neither am I," Sawyer chimes in.

"Annie you should go home and get some sleep."

"If I were lying there he wouldn't leave me. So I'm not leaving him." They all say their goodbyes and head home. Taylor and Sawyer discreetly exit the room most likely to stand as body guards outside the door. I stand and push the chair out of the way and go over to get one of the cots from by the window. I grab a blanket and a pillow from one of the cabinets and then I lie down and fall asleep holding his hand.

I open my eyes to a very bright room with sunlight streaming in. Both of my hands are folded under my head and I am in the fetal position. I don't even need anyone to tell me that I look like a child. I yawn and sit up and I look over at Christian. I let out a short, but high pitched shriek when I am met by his gray eyes. How the hell did he gain consciousness back so fast? He is looking at me intently as if he has never seen me before. I can't take the silence any longer so I say lamely, "Hi."

"Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" I laugh and take his hand. He flinches and tenses up ever so slightly before he relaxes.

"No I am not an angel, but this might be heaven since so many of my prayers have been answered."

"This must be heaven. You look like an angel." I smile at him and stroke my thumb over his knuckles. "What's your name?" My good mood and joy instantly disappears. What the hell does he mean? He knows me! I'm his damn wife! How can he not know me?! _'He has a crack in his skull… It has caused some swelling to his brain.' _Oh dear God please don't tell me Christian has memory loss. I get him back just to lose him again? What kind of torture is this? He's wrong. This isn't heaven. This is hell!

"It's me, Anastasia. You know me," I say in a placating voice.

"Anastasia," he says reverently. "That's beautiful." He looks down at himself and asks the question I know is coming, but I am still hoping I'm wrong. "And who am I?" I let out a soft, tortured cry and close my eyes as I feel the tears gather in them. I feel his hand on my face and his thumbs stroke away my tears. "Please Angel. Don't cry." How can I not when my man has been taken from me? I look at him and stroke my hand down his cheek. I have to be strong. We _will_ get through this, but someone has to keep a level head. I have to help him. I send up one last prayer. _Oh please, please bring him back to me._

* * *

I open my eyes and all I can see is brilliant light. I squint against it and I see movement to my right. I look over and I see a lovely woman surrounded by the bright light. She yawns and stretches and then turns her gaze to me and lets out a quick, but loud squeal. Her eyes are magnificent. The most beautiful shade of blue. She must be an angel. That would explain the light. I am in heaven. There is no better place for me to be than right here with this beautiful angel. Me? I rack my brain, but I can't exactly pinpoint who I even am. That's strange. Or at least I believe it is. There is nothing in my brain except words. No pictures, no voices, no… memories. Am I supposed to have memories? I stare at this ethereal creature and I wonder what I should say to her. I would like to know about myself, but how does one address an angel? She is holy so I should be respectful. But before I can speak she says, "Hi," rather softly. Huh. That's not what I expected.

"Are you an angel? Am I in heaven?" Damn! I'm supposed to be respectful! How it must look for me to just blurt questions at her when she has greeted me so kindly. I want to apologize, but then she laughs and it is pure music. She reaches out and takes my hand and I almost lift it to my lips, but I force myself to relax.

"No I am not an angel, but this might be heaven since so many of my prayers have been answered."

But that doesn't make sense. "This must be heaven. You look like an angel." She gives me a dazzling smile and strokes my hand. I can hold back my questions no longer. "What's your name?" He smile drops away and I mentally kick myself. I must have offended her. Maybe humans aren't supposed to know the names of their angels. Or should I know her name already? How do I tell her that I don't remember it? That I don't remember anything?

"It's me, Anastasia. You know me." But I don't know her.

"Anastasia," I repeat. It is so divine, so… heavenly. "That's beautiful." I look myself over and I am banged up pretty badly. How did I get here? Where is here if it is not heaven and who am I? I decide that it can't hurt to ask. "And who am I?" She begins to cry and I feel like shit immediately for having caused her pain. I wipe away her tears and say, "Please Angel. Don't cry." She looks up at me and seems to have an internal struggle with herself before making her features appear much more brave and strong.

"I have to step out for a moment. I'll be right back."

She starts to get up, but I grab her hand. "Please don't leave me here alone," I beg her. I have no clue where or who I am and she makes me feel calm. She strokes my cheek.

"I'll send someone to sit with you until I come back. I won't be gone long I promise." She slides her hand away and that's when I see it. There is a huge diamond ring on her left hand. My heart falls from my chest. She is married. I wanted to know her, to worship her, but she is tied to another. I curse myself. She is an angel. Her husband is probably a god. I am drawn from my thoughts when I see her stand. So they are expecting? I want to cry. Maybe if I had woken up sooner… I am drawn from my thoughts when a man walks through the door. She says a few quiet words to him and his face changes from impassive to complete and utter shock. He looks at her as if she has lost her mind. She motions him over and then she leaves. Once she is gone it is as if the light has gone with her and suddenly it is not so bright anymore. I look around and see that I am in a very stately room with an amazing view. The man comes and removes the cot and places a chair in the spot instead. He sits and looks a bit uncomfortable for a moment.

"Mrs. Grey tells me that you've lost your memory sir. Is that true?"

"Who is Mrs. Grey?"

He clears his throat. "Anastasia, your wife." The heart that recently vacated my chest has now leapt into my throat. She is my wife? She's pregnant with my child? I have gone from nothing to everything in only ten minutes. "I'm sorry sir. I probably shouldn't have said that. You probably aren't ready for that kind of information just yet." He rubs the back of his neck and loos even more uncomfortable if that is possible.

"It's quite alright. Who are you?"

"I'm Taylor sir. Jason Taylor. I am head of your security team."

"I have a security team? Why?"

"Well you are a very wealthy man Mr. Grey and you need protection from people who may want to threaten you or your family."

"Family? There is more than just Anastasia and the child she carries?"

"Yes there is, but I should probably let Mrs. Grey explain everything to you herself."

"Could you tell me what my first name is?"

"It's Christian." How fitting. Anastasia walked in with another woman who was older but still very beautiful. Is she also an angel?

"Christian—" She stops and shames crosses her face. "Your first name is Christian. I guess I should have answered you when you asked. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for anything."

She clears her throat and says, "Well this is Grace." The woman sticks out her hand and shakes the one that is not in a sling. She is holding back tears and I wonder who this woman is to me. "Grace works here at the hospital as a pediatrician." She swallows before she says, "She is also your mother." I look back at Grace. She smiles kindly at me and I feel warmth spread in my chest. I smile back.

"Oh sweetheart. You don't deserve this. I'm so sorry that this happened to you." She is now sobbing and the man, Taylor, is holding on to her. I seem to make everyone upset. She excuses herself to the bathroom and Taylor goes back outside. Ana sits in the chair that he has vacated. I look at her. I know it is rude of me to stare at her the way that I am, but I cannot look away. Something about her calls to me. There is an energy between us that is so strong I am surprised I can't see it.

"Angel, may I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Are there more children in our family besides the one on the way?"

She looks at me surprised. "How do you know that this is your child?"

"Taylor told me that we are married."

She deflates and her face loses its light. What will it take for me to make her laugh again? "Maybe you should get a little more information about your life before we talk about us."

"But I want to know all about us. How did a creature so ethereal come to be mine?"

"I'm just a regular person."

"Do we have more children?" There. Point blank. I want to know. She stares at me for a long while before she sighs and finally gives in.

"We have a son. His name is Theodore Raymond Grey. He is named after your grandfather and my stepfather. We call him Ted, Teddy, or Teddy Bear."

"How old is he?"

"He just turned two."

"When can I see him?"

"Christian I don't think that's a very good idea. He won't know how to react when his daddy doesn't know who he is."

I am about to argue when Grace comes back in. I wonder if I should call her mom. "Do you think it is wrong for me to see my son?"

She blinks in surprise. "Well no it isn't wrong, but you should wait. Christian you don't even know what you look like. You don't know anything about yourself. How are you going to interact with Teddy if you don't know the first thing about him?"

"How can I learn what it is I need to know if I don't see him?" I am becoming irritated. Why is everyone against me? I try a different tact. "What if I never remember? You can't keep him from me forever." I regret it almost instantly when Ana begins to cry.

"Don't say that!" She wails at me. "You will remember!" She cries harder.

"Angel. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I merely meant to make a point. It is possible that I may not gain my memory back. What will we do then? I have to know him and get the chance to love him as well."

"I know that Christian, but you should at least know more about him before you meet him. He will not understand any of this so we have to act normal to keep from hurting his feelings."

"I will try my best and if I run into trouble then you'll help me Angel." I grab her hand and that energy is back. That surge of electricity that is between us. It feels so good, so right. The door to the room opens and a woman with blonde hair steps in carrying a small child. The boy's head pops up and he squeals in delight.

"Mama! Daddy!" He wiggles out of the woman's arms and climbs onto the bed.

"Looks like we're being put to the test sooner than I thought," Ana mutters.

I look at the little boy and I know that he is Teddy. My son. He has my angel's eyes, but other than that he looks nothing like her. What I am staring at must be the mirror image of myself. What do I say to him? He wraps his tiny arms around my neck and lays on my chest. He doesn't move nor does he talk. He just lies there. I look at my angel, but she is staring at him with tears in her eyes. I look back down at the small child and I wrap my arm around him and pull him close to me. I press a kiss to the top of his head. I look at Ana again and then down at her stomach and I smile. I slept in disoriented darkness and I woke up with a family. I close my eyes and send up a silent prayer of thanks and then one small request. _Please let me remember them. _


	3. Chapter 3: Remembering Elena

"Apparently more damage has been done to his brain than we thought. The swelling may have something to do with it, but as far as we can see there is nothing wrong. He may have just hit his head the wrong way and that's what caused this. Just continue to talk to him while he's here. Since there is no visible damage that we can see on his brain, his memory could probably be triggered by the slightest thing. His shoulder, leg, and knee have to heal and he has to go through physical therapy as well so that may take anywhere from three to eight weeks. Once you get him home around familiar things it should get easier. Just stay encouraged Mrs. Grey. It'll get better." The doctor offers me a sympathetic smile as he walks away.

I walk back in the room with my husband and son. Christian has raised the bed to a sitting position. Teddy is seated beside him in the crook of his arm and they are watching cartoons. If I didn't believe it before I definitely believe he has memory loss now. Christian may tolerate television, but he hates Spongebob.

"Daddy look!" Teddy is clapping his hands in delight at whatever is happening on the TV screen. He looks over and sees me and yells, "Mama!" He jumps down out the bed and comes to stand in front of me. "Up mama, up!" I bend down as much as my protruding stomach will allow and lift him into my arms.

"Is it ok for you to pick him up that way?"

I look over at Christian's concerned face. Not very much has changed. I smile and say, "Yes it's fine. I do it all the time."

He still has a slight frown on his face, but it morphs into a smile when I come and sit next to him in the chair next to his bed. "So what are we watching?"

"Some God awful show about a sponge that lives in the sea in a pineapple with a snail that sounds like a cat. Is this what all kids have to grow up watching?"

I laugh, "It is now."

"That is a very beautiful sound."

"What is?"

"Your laugh."

"You always tell me that."

"Because it's true Angel."

I look down at Teddy's head and run my fingers nervously through his hair before saying, "I'm not an angel."

"You look like one and you sound like one. I woke in a strange place that I am still convinced is heaven. I don't see myself seeing you as anything less than the divine being you are."

"Christian… please." I am beginning to tear up. His words are tearing at my heart. I have never heard him speak about me this way. I know he has always thought I was otherworldly, but he has never said it in such a beautiful way.

"Angel. Don't cry. It isn't my intention to make you cry, but I seem to have done nothing more than that today."

"It's fine. Really. I just don't exactly know how to handle this. I'm sorry that I'm so emotional."

"Please don't apologize. I have no idea how hard this must be for you. Even though I can't remember, I have no doubt that our time together has been magical."

I blush at that. Dear God! Christian hasn't made me feel like a lovesick teenager with a crush since we've been married. I am about to respond when the door opens.

"Hello Mrs. Grey, Mr. Grey." I look up to see the doctor who has been tending to Christian since he arrived. "Mr. Grey my name is Dr. Shaw." I now realize that up until this point I had no idea what his name was. "We'll be starting your physical therapy in about a week when we're sure that everything has had a chance to heal properly. We'll get you home with your family as quickly as we possibly can. I'll be prescribing you pain medication so you won't be given morphine anymore. The medicine will numb the pain and make you drowsy, but you will still be coherent enough to interact with people. Mrs. Grey if I may have a word?"

I nod and stand to place Teddy beside Christian. "Don't move Teddy. Remember daddy doesn't feel well. Sit here and watch T.V. and mommy will be right back." I kiss his forehead and he leans back to lay on Christian's shoulder. I turn and walk out of the door with Dr. Shaw.

Once the door is closed he says, "Mrs. Grey I think it will be best if you try not to worry so much."

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes I'm afraid it is and all this stressing can have negative results on the baby. You should try to stay positive and look at the bright side of things. I know everything seems bad right now, but your husband is alive and so are you, your son, and your unborn child. You have to be calm and collected so that Mr. Grey doesn't start to feel disheartened. We want him to remember. He has to feel comfortable around you, not afraid that what he will say might upset you. This is just as new to him as it is to you. You have to teach him how to be himself again. I hear that Mr. Grey has a therapist?"

"Yes he does. His name is Dr. John Flynn."

"I recommend his services for you and for Christian and possibly your son if he can manage it. This is going to be a long journey, but we'll get through it the best we can."

"Thank you so much Dr."

"You're welcome. Let me know if he needs anything or yourself. I'll be on the floor for the rest of the day." After I nod he walks down the hall and around a corner. I heave a sigh and head back into Christian's room. I smile when I see that Teddy has fallen asleep.

"He's never gone to sleep that quickly before." Christian smiles down at our son and I feel myself tearing up again. Remembering what I was just told, I clear my throat and say, "Would you like to change the T.V.?"

"That would be nice, thank you."

I reach for the white remote next to the bed and I start to flip mindlessly through the channels. I am about to give up when Christian says, "Go back. Please." I flip back to a news station. I am going to tell him that nothing of importance comes on this early in the day when I see his face plastered across the screen. A newscaster is saying, "Yesterday afternoon billionaire and business mogul Christian Grey was in a drunk driving accident. Witnesses are saying that he is a hero. He ran into the car ahead of him so that it would be avoided in the accident. Reports say that his pregnant wife Anastasia Grey and their two year old son were both in the car ahead of him. Evidence has shown the car wreck was no accident. The woman who caused it, Elena Lincoln was aiming for the first car and instead hit Grey. Grey is now recovering from many serious injuries at Seattle Grace Hospital. Lincoln has been taken into police custody." Elena's mug shot pops up on the screen and I feel like vomiting. I hate her so much. She broke my family. I look over at Christian and his eyes are closed.

"Christian?" I pat his shoulder and his head lolls to the side. I scream and frantically press the nurse's button. Teddy jolts in his sleep and I rub his tummy to soothe him back to sleep. A woman comes rushing in and I say, "Go get Dr. Shaw NOW!"

She runs out of the room and I look back over at Christian who has still not moved. I try to stay calm so that I don't wake Teddy in the midst of my panic. Dr. Shaw comes rushing in and asks what happened. "We were watching a news report about the accident on T.V. and when I looked over at him he was like this. He just went limp and he's not moving. I didn't know what to do so I sent for you." He murmurs something about checking his vitals and he walks over to Christian and begins to poke and prod on him.

"I don't see anything out of the ordinary. All his signs are fine. His breathing is even, his heart rate is normal. Are you sure he didn't just fall asleep?"

"If he had fallen asleep, don't you think that when I screamed he would have woken up?!" I say, irritated that he assumes I am overreacting. "We were watching television and not one minute later he was lying comatose in the bed! I'm not crazy. Fix him!"

"Calm down Mrs. Grey. Remember what we talked about." I try to calm down and even out my breathing, but it's difficult. I hear a small murmur from the bed and both Dr. Shaw and I look down at Christian.

When the noise comes again I sit beside him and whisper, "Christian?" in his ear.

He opens his eyes a fraction and looks at me and says, "Elena saved me." Then he goes limp once more, leaving me paralyzed in my seat.

* * *

My angel doesn't seem to be looking at the channels she is flipping through so I try to concentrate on everything that comes across the screen to see if I see anything that looks important or entertaining. I nearly gasp when I glimpse her face on the screen briefly, but I see it. "Go back. Please." She flips back to the news channel and I am looking at what must have been the car accident that we all survived yesterday. The woman who caused it was aiming for Ana and Teddy? Why would anyone want to hurt them? They are so incredibly precious. I see the face of the woman who did this and I feel something close to electricity go off in my head and it knocks all the wind from my body. One minute I am staring at the television screen and the next I am staring at a man.

"_Christian this rebellious streak of yours must come to an end! I will not tolerate fighting, drinking, and drugs in any of my children. Now, over the summer you're going to be working at the Lincolns' home to give you something to do instead of sitting around idle. I want you to do what they tell you when they say do it. Is that understood?"_

_I look down not wanting to look at the disappointment in his face any longer and I nod. "Good now go over there and see what you can do to help." I walk out of the house and I walk the few short blocks to the Lincoln home. I hate that I have to come here and work for these people that I barely know. I ring the doorbell and a completely gorgeous woman answers the door. _

_She looks me up and down and says, "Can I help you young man?"_

"_My name is Christian Grey. I came over here because my parents said you needed some help around the house this summer." _

"_Oh that's right I remember. You're the little wild child. Well come in. Go through the kitchen to the backyard." I do as she says and she follows me. Once in the backyard she says, "You can start with the gutters and then I want you to mow the lawn and pull the weeds out of my garden. Once you're finished out here I may require your services… elsewhere." I nod and she goes back into the house and comes back with a black trash bag and some gloves. "You'll find the ladder, the lawn mower, and the garden hoe in the shed. Do a good job and I might bring you something to drink." She turns and sashays back into the house. I look at the house and curse silently. This has got to be the biggest fucking house in our neighborhood. I'll be here for the next year trying to clean the damn gutters! I sigh and decide it's best if I just start working. _

_After about an hour I have finished cleaning the gutters and Mrs. Lincoln has returned with a tall glass of lemonade. "Thirsty?"_

"_No shit," I say. The smile on her face drops. She sets the glass down on the patio table and walks over to me and slaps me hard across my face. I hold my hand to my cheek and look up at her in stunned silence. _

"_Let me explain something to you. When you're here, you belong to me. You will do what I tell you, when I tell you. If I say jump I expect for you to say how high. You will refer to me as Mistress from here on out is that clear?" I nod and she says "Answer me."_

"_Yes."_

"_Yes what?"_

"_Yes Mistress."_

"_Good boy. Now Christian, do you know anything at all about sex?"_

"_Yes Mistress."_

"_Have you ever had sex before?"_

"_No Mistress."_

"_Well I am going to teach you everything you will ever need to know. Would you like that?"_

_Was she kidding? "Yes Mistress I would."_

"_Well if you want to learn then the fighting, the drinking, and the drugs must come to an end. Do I make myself clear?"_

"_Yes Mistress."_

"_If I hear about you doing anything and I mean anything illegal I am going to give you the punishment of a lifetime. Is that what you want?"_

"_No Mistress."_

"_Then I suggest you shape up and if you ever use foul language in my presence again it won't be a slap across the face that makes you think twice. Now drink your lemonade and go home. When you come back tomorrow I want my lawn mowed and the weeds in my garden pulled. When you're finished I will show you my playroom, where you will spend your time from then on out. Understood?"_

"_Yes Mistress." _

"_Good. Now run along. And Christian?" I turn and look at her. "This is between you and I. Understood?" _

"_Yes Mistress. I won't tell anyone." With that I go to the patio, drink the lemonade and then I run home. _

"_How was work?" My dad asks me. _

"_It was fine. I'm gonna go shower." I run upstairs and close and lock my door. I open my closet and pull out the box with my stash of alcohol and pills. I drag it to the bathroom and start pouring everything down the sink. I'm not sure what the hell a playroom is, but if I get sex for good behavior then I'm going to be the best damn kid this family has seen. _

I am pulled back to reality. Elena, that woman from the news report saved my life. She made me want to change my ways albeit for sex, but at least I wasn't turning into a juvenile delinquent anymore. I felt such shame standing in front of the man who I assume was my father. In front of Elena I felt like a man. "Elena." I hadn't realized I said it out loud until I heard my angel's voice in my ear.

"Christian?"

I should tell her. I should tell her what I saw. I want to so badly, but I can't seem to summon the strength to get through the entire story. All I can do is open my eyes just a bit and whisper, "Elena saved me," and hope that she understands.


	4. Chapter 4: Hard Labor

**A/N: Hey guys. I know it's been a while since I've posted something for this story, but here it is. I changed a little bit to the labor scene. You'll see what I mean when you read it. I sort of lost my motivation to write this story, but big thanks goes out to everyone who emailed, reviewed, and PM-ed me to encourage me to keep going. So this is for you guys and I will keep going with this story, but please remember that I'm in school so I don't have time to write as often as I'd like. Once the semester closes out I'll update more frequently. Happy Reading! **

* * *

It has been nearly three weeks since Christian's "revelation." When he woke up he tried to tell me about what he saw, but I called Dr. Flynn first, thinking it best that he should be here with us when he explained it to me. When he told us I immediately began to protest, but Flynn said that I should let things "unfurl on their own." He said that if his memory was triggered by something as trivial as a face then it could be spurred by anything. I wish my face could make him remember.

I am sitting in the waiting area with Teddy waiting for Christian to come from his physical therapy session. He has been making remarkable progress. My stubborn Christian. He is determined not to be here for another two weeks. The door opens and they wheel Christian out in a wheelchair.

"Mr. Grey if there is anything else I can do for you please don't hesitate to ask," the pretty blonde nurse tells him and she all but shoves her breasts under his nose. He looks up at her with an expression that can only be described as disgust and then rolls over to me leaving her standing alone.

Teddy jumps from my lap and stands in front of Christian. "Up daddy." I stand so that I can lift him onto Christian's lap, but he takes him and does it himself. I look at him in shock. "My shoulder is much better."

"Christian it's barely been three weeks. How is that even possible?" He shrugs and shakes his head, effectively closing the conversation. I roll my eyes at his stubbornness. When I look back at him he is frowning. "What?"

"Don't do that. Don't roll your eyes it's… disturbing." Of course it is. I shake my head.

"Teddy and I are going to go home for about an hour so we can get some more clothes."

"Can't you send someone to do that? They do everything else."

"We're running them ragged. As much as I don't want to leave you I also don't want anyone else ending up here because of me."

"I'm not here because of you Angel. Stop blaming yourself." When I say nothing he says, "I want to come with you." I sigh. We've been over this countless times. Christian isn't due for discharge for at least another two weeks. Although he has been healing and improving at a tremendous rate, the doctor said he wants to make sure everything is really in order before he releases him to go home.

"Christian, I know you want to go home. God knows I want you to get out of this hospital, but you have to wait. It's just two weeks. They'll fly by."

"I want to go home now. I hate it here." He gives me a pout that reminds me that my Christian is still in there. "It stinks here, the food is terrible, and they refuse to give me a nurse who is old enough to know better than to throw herself at a married man." He says the last part a bit louder and looks over at the blonde nurse at the desk area. She blushes, picks up some files, and walks briskly down the hallway.

I wheel him back to his room and help him into the bed and place Teddy at his side to watch TV before I say, "Christian I know you want to leave and trust me, watching more women throw themselves at you isn't something I relish either, but," I caress his face and he leans into my touch. "Please just stick it out for a couple more weeks and I promise I'll take you home. Deal?"

After a moment of silent brooding, he finally nods and says, "Seal it with a kiss?" I know I must look mortified for a moment. I haven't had much physical contact with Christian since he first woke up. I've kept a careful distance from him, not being quite sure where he stood with me touching him.

"Are you sure you want me to? I know you don't remember—" I break off and look down at Teddy who is curled up under Christian's arm, not really paying us much attention. "Well, you know."

"Angel I've wanted to kiss you since I first opened my eyes. In the past three weeks, I've never been more sure of anything." I smile and caress his face once more and lean down and brush my lips across his very lightly at first and then I lean in and press my lips flush against his. I am about to pull back when he slides his hand to the back of my neck and draws me closer. I feel his tongue swipe across the seam of my lips and my heart starts to beat faster. I've missed him so much. I feel tears gather in my eyes from the frustration I feel at not being able to have him like I want him. I pull back slightly and he makes a noise of protest. I laugh softly. "Thank you Angel."

"I'd do anything for you. Why don't you get some rest? Teddy and I will be back in about an hour or so."

"Hurry back to me. I don't like being here without you. I feel alone." His eyes are bright and round. He looks like a scared child. I realize that he doesn't really know anyone. His family comes by from time to time, but the only people he spends any length of time with are me and Teddy.

"I'll come back as soon as possible. Now sleep."

I grab Teddy and we exit the room. Once outside the door I set Teddy down and grab his hand and I start to walk down to the elevators when my knees buckle and I fall into the wall. I clutch Teddy in my arms as I slide to the floor. I put a hand to my stomach where there is a sharp pain. These can't be contractions. I'm just barely seven months pregnant. I cry out as I feel another sharp stab in my stomach. What the hell is happening?

* * *

I lie back in the bed once my angel leaves the room. What am I supposed to do now? I start to flip through the channels mindlessly before finally giving up and switching the TV off. I lie back and shut my eyes. I must have fallen asleep because when I open my eyes back up the light in the room has shifted. I look out of the window to see that the sun is setting. I look around the room and it is the same way it was when I fell asleep. Ana hasn't returned with Teddy. I frown and push the button for the nurse. About five minutes later, Grace walks into the room.

"You're my nurse this evening?" I ask her with a big smile.

She smiles back although it looks a little sad and tired. "Yes. I had another doctor come in to oversee my shift and I gave your nurse the night off."

"Please don't go to any trouble for me. I'll be fine Grace." I see her mouth turn down when I call her by her name and her eyes get sad. I haven't really worked up the nerve to call her mom yet.

"It's no trouble at all sweetheart. The others will be here soon. Did you need something?"

"Where is Ana?"

Her eyes grow wide and she looks away. "Are you hungry? I could go and get you something to eat. You must be starving."

"Grace please. Where are Ana and Teddy? Did they make it home safely? Is something wrong?"

"Christian I'll tell you where Ana is, but you have to promise me that you won't freak out."

"I promise." I know that I am probably lying to my own mother, but I need to know where my family is.

She sighs long and hard and then says, "Ana never left the hospital. She went into premature labor a few hours ago. She's been checked into a room on the floor just above yours. Teddy is at home with Gail and Jason. Sawyer is overlooking Ana's room and Ryan is stationed outside of yours."

"Why the hell didn't anyone say something before? Did she have the baby?"

"Not yet. She hasn't dilated enough yet, but she is definitely in labor. Her water broke as soon as we picked her up off of the floor. She was having complications, but she's much better than she was when this first started."

"Take me to her."

"Christian you don't need to—"

"Mom. Please. Take me to her."

She looks at me for a long moment, warring with herself, then she finally concedes and says, "I'll be right back." She is gone for less than five minutes. When she returns she is rolling a wheelchair. "I can walk."

"That may be, but if you want to leave this room you'll sit in this wheelchair and we'll do this my way." I look into her eyes and see the eyes of a mother not the apprehensive woman I've come to know.

I smile up at her and say, "Alright. We'll do it your way." I climb out of the bed with only mild difficulty and I sit down in the wheelchair. I swear that I hear her murmur something that sounds very close to "That's my good boy," but I'm not sure. She wheels me out of the room, down the hallway and into an elevator. We get off and she wheels me down another hall and around a corner to the labor and delivery section of the floor. We enter the doors and go into the last one on the right. The room is cozy. It has no windows and low lighting to make it comfortable for the baby I presume. Ana is lying in the bed looking paler than death. I leap from the chair so quickly that my knee nearly gives out.

"Christian!" I hear Grace gasp behind me, but all of my attention is focused on getting to my angel.

"Angel?" Her eyes open just a crack when she hears me call to her.

"Christian? What are you doing up here?"

"Grace brought me up here to see you. Are you alright? You look like you're in so much pain. Is there anything I can do?"

She smiles up at me weakly and says, "I'm alright. Your daughter is just getting a little impatient is all. Could you hold my hand?"

"Of course I can." I sit in the reclining overstuffed chair next to her bed and let it out so that I can rest my knee. I grab her hand and I feel her give it a light squeeze. We sit this way for a moment when suddenly Ana is overcome by some violent pain that has her crying out and gasping for air. I am about to reach over and caress her face, but I feel my body go limp and my vision go dark.

"_Ana! Baby please say something." Ana is sitting on the floor clutching her stomach and I have no fucking idea what to do. _

"_It's time Christian. Go upstairs and get the bag. We need to get to the hospital." I look at Taylor who nods and runs upstairs to get the pregnancy bag with everything Ana thought we might need when she went into labor. I wasn't leaving her side for a moment. I bend down and pick Ana up with ease. Even though she is pregnant she is still the lightest thing I've ever carried. Taylor comes back downstairs, bag in hand and we head out the front door. _

_Once in the car Taylor speeds down the driveway and quickly gets on the freeway. I am holding Ana's hand and trying to get her to breathe calmly. I am freaking the fuck out. I finally overcame my apprehension about having this baby, but I never thought about the actual delivery. I never thought Ana might have complications when she went into labor. The pregnancy went so smoothly. I figured everything else would just fall in line. Apparently I was wrong. Ana seemed to be in so much pain that she had doubled over on the floor of the car and was whimpering softly. I rub her back and whisper soothing things in her ear. _

_When we finally arrive to the hospital Dr. Greene is already waiting for us outside. Taylor must have phoned her en route. I lift Ana from the floor and place her in the wheelchair Dr. Greene has for her. _

"_Breathe Mrs. Grey. You're going to be fine. Has your water broken?"_

"_Yes. It broke back at the house."_

"_How far apart are the contractions?"_

"_About five to seven minutes."_

"_Alright we're going to get you into labor and delivery and have this baby. Don't worry Mrs. Grey. We'll take good care of you." _

_We get into labor and delivery and I stay by Ana's side the whole time. Even though her contractions were so close, the baby just wouldn't come. Ana had been in labor for about fifteen hours and she was heavily drugged to keep her contractions from slowing, but nothing seemed to be working. Every time there was mention of a caesarian section she vehemently turned it down saying she wanted to push the baby out herself. _

_Dr. Greene let Ana rest for a moment and asked to see me in the hall. "I'll be right back baby." I kissed her forehead and stepped into the hall with Dr. Greene._

"_You have to convince her to have the C-section. She's been in labor entirely too long and she's losing a lot of blood and putting the baby in distress. If we keep this going any longer you might lose your wife and your child. We can't do it unless we have her consent. Make her agree." _

_I almost lose my bearings at the thought of losing Ana, of losing my family. I nod and we go back in. _

"_Mrs. Grey you've been in labor for fifteen hours now. Your contractions have slowed in spite of the Pitocin. We need to do a C-section— the baby is in distress." I look down at Ana ready to berate her if she disagreed, but she just looks tired and sleepy. _

"_I wanted to push him out myself." _

"_Mrs. Grey please. C-section." Dr. Greene looks at me with hard eyes._

"_Please Ana," I plead with her. _

"_Can I sleep then?"_

"_Yes baby, yes." I am almost crying. I can't stand the thought of losing them. I need her. I need my family. _

"_I want to see the Lil' Blip." _

"_You will," I promise her._

"_Okay." She finally agrees and there is a flurry of commotion and movement. I am placed in scrubs and once Ana is numb the procedure begins. Within mere minutes our baby is finally here, letting out a shrill cry as he escapes the security of Ana's stomach. Why the fuck didn't we do this to begin with? _

_After a few hours, I sit with a sleepy Ana and I hold our new baby boy in my arms. "I won't go through this again Ana." This seems to wake her up and her eyes widen a bit. "I mean I won't see you put yourself through this again. You nearly died." _

"_I did not."_

"_Yes you did. The next time you will have an elective C-section."_

"_Next time?"_

_I look at her and I realize that I do in fact want there to be a next time. "Yes. I want more children." She smiles big at that, but it hasn't escaped my notice that she hasn't agreed. "Elective C-section Ana. Alright?"_

"_Okay."_

"_Good girl." I kiss her on the cheek and continue to softly rock my baby boy from side to side. _

I open my eyes and Grace is hovering over me. I look around and I see Elliot and his wife, Mia and her husband, and Carrick all standing and watching me. "Christian are you alright?"

I don't answer Grace, but I look over at my angel who is staring at me with wide, pained eyes. "You're supposed to have a C-section," I say right before I pass out in the chair.

* * *

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